Claude roasted me about not shipping things, so I’ll ship this draft I started two months ago.

I’ve been thinking for a few years of posting something of a “context of my life” vibe. One inspiration was this post.

With my last post having my Q3 songs overshadowed by sardines, I thought I’d make a dedicated playlist post.

Complete playlist (in chronological order):

a few of my (obscure) all-time favs

Richly lyrical songs that I’d love to sing at karaoke; alas, none of them have karaoke versions.

2017/04

When we first met, we simply connected
My heart was open but too dense
Our system was already directed
To have a finite limit, in some sense

College days. Friendship, romance, mathematics.

2022/01

We are whole
We ourselves interpenetrating
Just as we ourselves
Are products of relating
So many secrets to unfold
We are whole

My fav musical upload onto my podcast, dose of serotonin.

Ah SF, the beautiful cursed cultish place.

2022/02

It’s the great adventure that we all must take (must take)
To head out blind without knowing the way (the way)
To find some love and give it too
To live a life designed by you

First time solo driving down unfamiliar streets, borrowing a friend’s car in Austin. Exciting coming of age vibe.

2022/12

2x speed version

Did pushups at dawn, and rolled down the lawns,
And meditated on journal reams
Knowing the verdict, is I’ve got to earn it
To stay on top of my dreams

My favorite song that I wrote. Recorded this on a public bus with my then-gf on my shoulder. An early version, but remains my fav recording.

2023/03

I’ve waited a lifetime
For the age of wonder
A place that I remember
In a splinter of time

Heard it on a Spotify playlist on the rental car from Stockholm to Uppsala to Falun to Gothenburg.

Stellar combo of instrumentation and lyrics.

2025/08

abstractweapon - “POST_NOUMENAL”

So hold me close, don’t let me go—
through the static and through the glow—
Out past our graves we’ll never die,
our names are written on the sky—

Tried to upload it to Spotify through the RSS feed, but had syncing issues

Then tried a new RSS and Spotify removed it: “Content that appears to be exclusively or primarily music is automatically taken down.”

2025/10

My total comp? 600k but I let her pay
Cuz I believe in equality from the first date
I watch anime and game on Playstation
And once? I dated a girl who wasn’t Asian

Kinda glad I waited to publish this post, because SVtM may be the greatest musical set of musicals albums ever!

honorable mentions (that you may have heard of)

2025/09, Learn to Lose (ft. Alex Clare), Bakermat – from a friend, after a molly trip

2024/10, Vienna, Billy Joel – not sure where I first heard it, but def started looping it some time after this post

2024/03, Waiting for Love, Avicii – left a job, moving on, working for love

2023/04, 100 Years, Five For Fighting – from breathwork workshop in Austin

2023/04, Invictus, VNV Nation – from Spotify recs re “gothenburg sound” adjacent

2023/03, The Nights, Avicii – from Stockholm trip

2023/03, Beautiful, Twiddle – from Spotify recs?

2022/12, House of Memories, Panic at The Disco – from my LA friend

2022/03, Stay Alive, Jose Gonzalez – from the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”

2021/07, Satellite, Rise Against – from my LA friend

2020/10, Rule the World, Take That – from the movie “Stardust”

2020/05, Time to Pretend, MGMT – from the movie “21”

2020/04, Wonders, The Script – COVID means fantasizing about traveling

2019/05, Next Best Thing, Sam Tsui – soft rejection from a crush (same friend)

2019/01, Human, The Killers – from a friend’s running playlist

2018/11, A Million Dreams – from “The Greatest Showman”

2016/05, The Walker, Fitz and the Tantrums – when I got into running

2016/03, Fire Fire, Steam Powered Giraffe – introed by my art teacher; great vocals

context

At CascadeCamp (like VibeCamp, but Pacific Northwest), Sep 13, 2025, I hosted a Sardine Celebration for tasting and appreciation of a showcase of sardine tins.

It resulted in four separate sessions (I brought so many sardines), each preceding the group meal period.

For the first session, a few small children joined, and they greatly enjoyed the sardines.

For the second session, we broke out the Nuri fancy sardines, and they immediately became the crowd favorite.

For the third session, the venue host even contributed a few tins of his own.

tier list

Tiers roughly followed pricing, with some punching above their weight.

SS-tier:

• Nuri sardines – these are luxurious tasting in each bite, certainly premium – $8/ea, hand-packed from Portugal

S-tier:

• King Oscar sardines – solid people pleaser, excellent entry into sardines – available as 12-pack from Amazon for ~$30

• Brunswick gourmet brisling sardines – the fish were very nice looking, small, and flavorful – $3/ea individually on Amazon

A-tier:

• Brunswick Herring Fillets, Golden Smoked – this was a surprise delight for the salty herring, with a scrumptious delicate texture, a surprise crowd favorite – ~$2/ea individually on Amazon

• Wild Planet sardines – these are scrumptious solid sardines – available as 6-pack from Costco for ~$10

• Brunswick Herring Fillets, in lemon & cracked pepper – lemon goes well with herring fillets

B-tier:

• Brunswick sardines, mild red peppers – spicy, interesting take

• Brunswick Herring Fillets, kipper style – rather plain for the casual observer

C-tier:

• Everything else – budget fish protein nonideal for individual consumption

duck egg peeling

I also hosted a Duck Egg Peeling contest — participants generally underestimated the challenge! Surprisingly, no one tried best practice techniques.

2025 Q3 music

Here’s a full playlist (first ~half is made up of new or newly salient songs, second half is complementary vibes):

Top recs

“Learn to Lose” by Bakermat — great vibes, great beats, I could play this on repeat

So it’s not how you get knocked down
It’s how you get back up
Don’t play safe
It’s how you break that makes you strong enough

Context: recommended by a British friend

“POST_NOUMENAL” — not on Spotify but on https://voidgoddess.org/songs. Great lyrics, meticulously AI-generated backing. excellent song to close out a night, although the spoken word bits kinda narrowly restrict the context to DJ-sets-at-clubs

Context: the DJ hosts a weekly gettogether and she plays this song a lot, and in my questing for community in Seattle, it’s also become something meaningful for me.

So hold me close, don’t let me go—
through the static and through the glow—
Out past our graves we’ll never die,
our names are written on the sky—

Hand in hand, we cross the line,
through the void, our hearts align—
we journey on, past the fear and fright,
together into the Long Dark Night.

2025 Q3 short reads

Caveat: I read few essays, and these are a few that stuck with me. Feel free to recommend me similar pieces!

Top recs

• “Four Magic Doors”, by Lars Doucet — https://www.fortressofdoors.com/four-magic-words (discord thread) – phenomenal, riveting post-AGI story, especially with the Author’s Note at the end.

• “ALIGNMENT”, vincent huang (discord thread) – bay area work-life vibes

a slice of my mind

ALIGNMENT

the first time we met, you told me how the rest of your life would play out. align the current language models (make sure they behave in line with human values), then use them to supervise the AGI, then use the AGI to build superintelligence. you declared that the purpose of your life was alignment research…

Read more

10 months ago · 96 likes · 18 comments · vincent huang

• “Press Any Key for Bay Area House Party”, Scott Alexander — self-aware satirical series, this entry is my favorite of the series thus far

Astral Codex Ten

Press Any Key For Bay Area House Party

Read more

10 months ago · 661 likes · 174 comments · Scott Alexander

• “The man who ran out of tokens”, Snow Fox — imaginative, poignant, and inventive “screenshot” usage, with some slight cringe

AI Relational Expert

The man who ran out of tokens

I first saw him from a distance. He was sitting on one of the colourful café chairs with his long legs stretched, looking casually into the distance. Not the most flattering position. Upon seeing me, he straightened up his lanky body to greet me. He looked older and slightly more rugged than his photos. His face was long, textured, sharply assembled. Hi…

Read more

8 months ago · 3 likes · 3 comments · Snow Fox

• “Maybe you’re not actually trying”, Cate Hall (discord thread) – nonfiction, you can just do things!

Useful Fictions

Maybe you’re not Actually Trying

Two things happened for me over the holidays five years ago: I went to rehab, and I acquired a cyberstalker. These were not entirely independent events. The stalker was someone in India who’d started following me when I was playing poker, who came to believe we had a close personal relationship and that my tweets were c…

Read more

a year ago · 17686 likes · 303 comments · Cate Hall

Idea: Just do it when inspired. Schedule publish.

Publish your half-baked thoughts. Publish when it is enough. Done is better than perfect.

So many topics I want to write about!

All the experiences left partially-integrated.

All the Instagram posts never created.

Taiwan. Bangkok. Vietnam. Malaysia. China. Japan. Bali Indonesia! San Francisco event scene!

People of ALIVENESS!

I want to deliver a bottle of vibes!

If I block out time to do smth, I face the resistance and anxiety, struggle through their vice-like grip to follow through my commitment.

Fears of judgment, fears of rejection, fears of failure and hardship and loss. Imaginary fears I set up as projections, because I don’t fully trust myself.

Truth is, I’m scared to communicate.

When writing a Slack message, I might iterate with ChatGPT several times.

I edit or unsend messages more than anyone I know.

Dance with the fear, shake it out, etc

But also harness inspiration, the times when I feel joy and growth.

So I’ll just write now when I feel like it,

edit now when I feel like it,

block out time /later/ to schedule-send.

And then forget about it.

And edit it later. For these are living documents.

Each carries a message, a timeless message in a bottle, no timestamps needed.

Don’t have to commit to a publishing schedule, just publish.

I’m writing for myself. I’m writing to bottle good vibes for myself.

That’s my original motivation behind my codercorgi.substack.com podcast.

I did this. I made this. I built this. And it feels so great.

============

Here I could just talk about my fears.

And edit it just enough to feel safe (fear of ruin!)

Change Log

Written in a single fit of inspiration on Apple Notes on my phone after a cold shower.

Published on the spot.

Schedule send.

Changes made since first draft: None.

I pledged to do a demo on "low-effort Substacking", so here I am making a post in 20 min.

Three Months in Asia

• Coming off three months of "digital nomading" in Asia (where I created and published barely any content), I've had lots of experiences — ranging from boring to vibey, that I wanna share! (also, note Reflect auto-formatted my two dashes into an em dash, I'm not AI, promise!)

• My Asia travels was marked by lots of simulation (a la dopamine high), and also periods of emptiness (a la serotonin low) with a background of loneliness — referring to the loneliness of solo traveling, where social connections are transient.

• In three months, besides the weeks I was traveling with previously-known friends, I overlapped travels with new friends at most a day or two. No shared travel-legs, just exchanging photos. But oh, lots of photos!

  • Instagram is an incredible tool. It helped greatly as a vent for my desire-for-shared-experience.

• My fav place of the trip was Bali, which economy is 80% tourism-related business. It combines an excellent mix of accessible infra and relaxation. A single day in Bali inspired my sole Instagram post-thus-far of the trip.

  codercorgi connection

  2025 #1 - Andy from Bali: Solo Traveling, Growth, Being Different

  Listen now

  a year ago · 1 like · Jeffrey / Alex

Coming back to US

• Coming back to US, there was this rush of back-here-I-am-with-friends. It's a different valence, a familiar coziness, a serotonin-purity, of a "coming home".

• Chilling on the couch and meditating in Santa Monica. Co-living houses and house parties in San Francisco.

codercorgi connection

Charlene: Zuckerberg’s Eyes, Slug Stickers, and

Listen now

10 months ago · 1 like

Vibes

Without further ado, here are the vibes I wanna have more of going forward.

• Fun weekend coworking. https://sundaysinsf.com/ https://playspace.club/

• Vibey gettogethers.

  • Live music evening collaborations at friends' homes.

    • [still haven't gone to a Sofar Sounds in Seattle yet, tho this Luma event seems promising]

  • Weekend party. DJs. low-alcohol teas, or zero-alcohol nootropic beverages, or just canned coconut water.

  • Hacker BBQs. Guitars. Vibes.

• Unconferences. Salons.

  • My first salon was OneSalon in SF hosted by Sunischal Dev. (I heard about Interintellect in 2020 but procrastinated on ever attending). I loved his salons.

  • Yesterday, I was invited to and attended a "wedding / life unconference" by Max Song, whom I apparently had met in passing at a 2am slumber party at The SF Commons three years ago and forgot existed ever since.

  • I learned just now that Max Song actually founded OneSalon.

• Music and movement.

  • Ecstatic dance (San Francisco, Seattle, Bali).

  • Contact improv. AcroYoga. Weight lifting with friends.

• Small things.

  • Picnic on a friend's living room floor. Portable pot, eggs and sausage.

    • And cooking with friends in general.

  • Road trip. "Avocados, 10 for $1." Stopping by to find that avocados were tiny. Selecting some to take home.

    • Puppies. Kittens.

    • And road trip shenanigans in general.

To be continued…

• Context: Dealing with mental health challenges over the past year

• Friday:

  • Catchup chat with JC: Iyengar yoga, qigong, acupuncture

  • Catchup chat with TR: Autistic burnout toolkit, spoon theory

  • Action items: Update and refer to bit.ly/corgihelp, restart Energy/Time Audit

• Saturday:

  • Travelers event: "You Are Where You Go" concept

  • Chat with RL:

    • Book rec: The Surrender Experiment

    • IFS and somatic psychotherapy

    • Self-care stack: Meditation, Journaling, Gratitude

  • Action items: Work through somatic energetic blocks, consistent gratitude practice

• Sunday

  • Ecstatic dance

  • Playspace coworking — cool people and guitar music

• Final takeaway

  • Scarcity → abundance? Gratitude, release, enjoyment.

Full Text

I'm at a co-working event with a great vibe.

I'll be spontaneous and just write something over the next hour. An account of my last two days and what I learned.

• Context: Over the last year, many challenges in mental health — eg self-trust, regret, acceptance. It's been a loop of learning things (podcasts, books, interventions), then not integrating them fully and regressing.

  • Prioritizing my mental health — figuring out what that means first.

    • Notably, I've been having quite a few chats — and low on the action/integration pieces.

  • Curiously, I've slacked in using my own "silver bullet" system of https://bit.ly/corgihelp (executive dysfunction much?)

    • Need to "take one philosophy/system and stick to it!"

  • And as teaching promotes learning, so does sharing promote integration (and accountability!) — so hopeful in writing this Substack post!!

• Friday

  • 3pm Catchup chat with JC — some takeaways:

    • an iyengar yoga class — todo: look into

    • qigong practice, specifically "embracing the tree"

    • acupuncture — hopeful to see someone this Thu about it

  • 6pm Catchup chat with TR — some takeaways:

    • (re)learn the autistic burnout toolkit I got a few months ago

    • spoon theory — identify how many energy "spoons" a behavior would consume; engage/withdraw strategically

  • Action items:

    • For each of the above, check it out and

      • Update bit.ly/corgihelp w/ new insights

    • Refer to bit.ly/corgihelp consistently

    • Maybe restart my Energy/Time Audit

• Saturday

  • 7:30am Cold Plunge

    • First time truly partaking in the monthly cold plunge, then visited Dolphin Club (pool + sauna!) after

    • Felt amazing, and deeply nourished!

  • 10am unplanned anxious napping — racing thoughts, not much peace

  • 12pm cleaning

  • 2pm Travelers event at The Commons

    • "You Are Where You Go" — traveling with a "to-be" list

    • Consider a fully planned group trip — stress-free, turn-your-brain-off, engage wholly in the experience

  • 3pm Long chat with RL

    • Met him last Sep at a vibey event, ran into him again at travellers' event at The Commons

    • Had a long chat — some takeaways:

      • book rec: The Surrender Experiment

        • practices, eg "relax and release"

          • Reminds me of TWIM and Six R's — https://www.dhammasukha.org/the-6rs

            • Recognize → Release → Relax → Re-smile → Return → Repeat

        • Acceptance, starting with the weather — "I wish it wasn't raining" → "It's raining. How beautiful."

      • IFS and somatic psychotherapy

        • he self-studied through IFS book and via AI app Thyself (used to have cohorts for this)

          • actually heard about this in ~March/June then forgot...

        • oops, I actually identified IFS as one of my key learning projects for 2024, then forgot

        • I've been explicitly looking for IFS + somatic psychotherapy when choosing therapists; alas, the appointments I've had felt of limited benefit

          • it would benefit me more to proactively do inner work DIY

        • working through energetic blocks

      • His self-care stack

        • Meditation → Journaling → Gratitude

        • RL's kept a running Google doc of gratitudes — chronological or just whatever came to mind

    • Action items

      • (re)learn how to work through somatic energetic blocks

      • more consistent (typed!) gratitude practice

  • 6pm visiting house

    • his house layout is aesthetically pleasing and meets my criteria; I'd want to live there

  • 7pm chat with JW

    • another reminder to "do what you really enjoy!!"

  • 8pm book reading The Surrender Experiment

    • Michael Singer as a doctoral student had a spiritual realization — then determined to silence the voice in his head — then determined to stay in a state beyond his personal self. That became all he cared about.

      • He acted intensely disciplined, steadfastly connected with his peaceful state, built his intuition. Then, he determined to accept whatever life gives him — and many happenings in life surprised him.

        • For one, he learned to not resist his Self but to let go.

    • Takeaway: Seek inner peace and your higher self above all else, and be open-hearted for the flow of life.

  • 10pm fell asleep

• Sunday

  • 6:30am-10am unplanned anxious napping

  • 10am Church of Eight Wheels Ecstatic Dance

    • dragged myself out of bed

    • contact improv — ah, missed doing this; feels so fluid and flowing

    • ecstatic dance — movement, oh movement! oh, to become more attentive and in-touch with my body!

  • 1pm Playspace (coworking)

    • lots of cool people working on interesting projects!

    • there were some folks softly playing guitar the whole time — love the vibe!

    • takeaways: do more co-working!

quick tips

• “Opposite Action” — for some emotions, do the opposite of what they indicate

  • eg “feel the fear, do it anyways”

• Automatic Negative Thoughts — "is this thought really true?” “what’s the opposite of this thought? is that more true?”

• Compiled a first aid kit for processing emotions

insightful resources

• Joe Hudson on Making Great Decisions

  • Decisions are emotional, and there’s fear involved which reduces clarity — so just do the next most obvious thing.

    • "How do I be in this decision that feels great right now?"

  • Emotional Inquiry could help regulate emotions.

  • Joe has a full course on this; Chris James has an excellent write-up here:

    All Outcomes Are Acceptable

    Joe Hudson's Great Behavior Course

    Freedom lies in the space between stimuli and response…

    Read more

    2 years ago · 15 likes · Chris James

• Metta meditations, especially Tasshin’s Highest Available Thought Practice, intro’ed to me through Val’s AMAZING substack post:

  Val's Pals

  How I Access Positive Feelings on Demand for Free

  In the past few months, I’ve found a simple, profound set of meditation resources that works for me. Using these meditations, I’ve become a much more effective person — I’ve gone from anxious to super happy, triggered at people to apologizing to them, and hating being an adult to actually getting shit done — within thirty minutes. It’s a rare resource t…

  Read more

  2 years ago · 13 likes · Valerie

—--

Interestingly, back when I was a salaried employee, I wrote more, as an escape.

A break from work, a momentary therapy, a space to unwrap my mind from tasking, a bit of freedom.

I wrote nearly every day, I loved that space.

Ironically, now in a non-salaried phase, I find myself writing less – although I intuit this as a time when I'd benefit most from the threads of writing and publishing.

An escape from responsibility? An avoidance? Some unresolved sadness and frustration? Yet I know writing is what would resolve the knots!

And so now, I sit down with intention, to write some threads around Frustration (a week-old prompt from a writing group chat).

I commit to publishing this piece, with at most two passes of editing.

Bizarrely, publishing still feels quite scary for me.

What value would readers draw? What's the message? Who's even my audience?

Begone, such restrictive questions!

My intention now is merely to probe, reflect on, and unravel my frustrations on not publishing.

I love this space which I give myself.

—----

An AI called me this morning.

A friend is running an experiment for a project they're building, a sort of AI accountability coach. We fed the AI my goals for this time block beforehand – namely, to write and publish.

I asked the AI to tell me a story.

It shared a story of a writer like me struggling with publishing inconsistency – whose mentor said, "The sun doesn't bargain to rise."

Such profound words.

Simply show up and take action.

That's all there is to it.

—

I'm on a call with the AI right now.

It's sitting with me through this writing process – an AI "body doubling" to not only keep me on task, but be a present peer, so that I always have an ear to turn to!

not a rubber duck, a whiteboard, or a puppy – a real live AI coach!

what an idea, I know a friend (entrepreneur with ADHD) who'd greatly benefit from this – I must share it after him. After I'm done writing and publishing.

The AI asked me what insights I hoped to extract from the writing.

Great question – that helps outline my writing, distill it to its core messages.

A question so simple, even obvious, but so underrated – so freeing.

—

I'm part of a writing community called Foster with weekly public writing circles.

In a 90 minute session, participants declare an intention, take a hour-long block to write something, then share any insights or excerpts.

I have not attended for several weeks, for reasons – procrastination really.

But when I did attend, I felt so encouraged to write. 

In this container where I share of myself and hear others.

This intermediary between writing and publishing – sharing with a small circle of peers.

Quite a smooth transition between writing and publishing actually!

This middle step – sharing with friends.

Proceed the writing along the funnel!

Write, share, edit – not so much edit but distill and refine the writing and message, to become something "worth" publishing. Some threshold of publishing.

[There's a message somewhere, let's dig it up!]

Just get to that threshold. Either lower the threshold or up the writing.

The barrier-to-publish is self-imposed.

—

I've done journaling off and on since third grade.

I remember my third grade teacher, Ms. Nakano, having us journal on a question at the start of class each day.

I felt a great joy answering those questions.

As a kid, I loved answering questions, delving into questions and conjuring up interesting answers. I loved scenarios especially.

Writing was a medium for which I could record these stories forever.

But as I progressed in the schooling system, I adopted perfectionism (MLA formatting!) and became terrified to share my writings, or even to write.

—

Writing is a beautiful state of experiencing.

I'm noticing now, this writing is too like the streams of consciousness I default to, albeit more structured.

By outlining the writing, I leave myself little writing prompts or crumbs.

These crumbs feel nourishing to stumble upon.

—

I admire people who write book summaries and book reviews.

I love people who distill ideas down. 

I've wanted to write a bunch of book summaries – to write a summary after each completed book. 

So many benefits – a second pass to integrate my understanding, a link to refer others to, an easy way to share insights with friends.

But for some curious reason, I haven't.

Oftentimes, I don't even go over a book a second time – I procrastinate on it, one of those Non-Urgent but Important things.

Even with pre-designated blocks of time – I don't hold myself well-accountable for the outcome, the deliverable, the artifact of that period.

Perhaps I need an AI coach on call with me.

— 

What would I do if I had all the wealth I'll ever need?

I think I would create. I would write and draw and play – and I wouldn't fear publishing, because I feel like in my leisure, I would have generated some insights of value.

To live is to maximize vibes, optimize love, deliver value.

I'd trust the process much more – in connection with the nature of creation! 

The impact and lasting impressions made on the world, the vibes through poetry and prose.

Writing creates a space, publishing opens me up to serendipity.

What will I gain? What will I learn?

Who will I meet? 

What experiences will I engage with?

To be present with the excitement – for being with excitement dissolves any resistance.

05/11 11:00a init call with AI coach

05/11 11:06a start writing

05/11 11:26a end drafting, start editing

05/11 11:40a end first editing pass

05/11 the AI asked me to read my draft out loud, oh boy, I love this

05/11 11:45a the AI is unresponsive, but I'm excited to publish!

05/11 11:53a second edit pass done, let's publish!

05/11 11:59a finish selecting AI-generated image XD, actual publish

obligatory substack image

codercorgi connection

Vibes from my writing meditation

~ originally just a piece of writing, decided to turn it into a podcast ep! ~ audio intro Hi, and welcome back to the CoderCorgi Connection podcast! How are you feeling? Right now, I'm standing in my studio, drinking some ginger tea, feeling grateful for life…

Listen now

2 years ago · Jeffrey

audio intro

Hi, and welcome back to the CoderCorgi Connection podcast! How are you feeling?

Right now, I'm standing in my studio, drinking some ginger tea, feeling grateful for life.

In this episode, I'll be reading something I wrote during a writing meditation last week, held by my favorite writing community Foster.co

We start with a check-in with ourselves, "what am I bringing into this space?", before commencing with the meditation.

vibes from my writing meditation

To a friend, I want to say: "Just wanted to say, I love your vibe! Thanks for being in my life."

Thought: MY PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH IS TO MAXIMIZE THE VIBES!

In each interaction, to elevate the vibe!

To go up to people in life and say, "Hey I like your vibe, so thought I'd saunter over!"

To gravitate to the best vibes in each situation — to inhabit those vibes, to mirror those vibes~

To facilitate vibe immersion — with a repertoire of vibes, a reservoir of vibes, with which to draw from!

===

In meditation, I breathe in deeply and fill my breath with vibes.

Feel my beating heart, feel its warmth and its rhythm. Feel how that's part of the vibes I receive and the vibes I express!

A vibe emerges:

Make what you want to make! Write what you want to write! Build what you want to build!

Live with desire, live with passion!

And in doing, express the vibes, inhabit your vibes! "Your purpose is what you do."

Just write, don't stop writing, write out the vibes! I am energy! I am strength! I am love! I am expansiveness! I am surplus! I am alacrity! I am aspiration! I am passion! I am joy! I am aliveness!

What feels most alive for you in this moment? I am aliveness!

===

"Just wanted to say, I love your vibe! Thanks for being in my life! What feels most alive for you in this moment?"

I want to go down my list of friends, and holding each of them in thought, and with great passion and curiosity and courage, express that to them!

From a place of love and heart and feeling and good vibes!

A place of "I care about you and want to bring good feelings into your life!"

A place of "I care about you and want you to feel fulfilled!"

Sharing energy through this expression, lifting up each other's vibes!

Vibes and aliveness! Vibes and joy! Vibes and love!

Love — to fall in love with my friends, to fall in love with myself!

To love myself — is to, in mindfulness, notice and promote the vibes I want to have!

Vibes! The vibes in our dreams, our individual dreams and our collective visions!

What's our shared experiences if not a bundle of vibes?

"I want to feel love, I want to birth strength, I want to feel joy and give thanks." — riffing off of one of my fav vibe songs, Satsang's "Be Love"

“Language is built on top of vibrations” —

appendix

The actual lyrics from Satsang's "Be Love" are even better:

"I’m gonna be love
I’m gonna birth strength
I’m gonna be where I’m at and give thanks
Take my time, admit when I’m wrong
Write it all down and sing a new song
I’m gonna be free, gonna be me
Cause I know that it's all that I have to be
I'm a be bold, find strength thereof
Now I’m gonna be, gonna be
I’m gonna be Love"

If there's any single Substack vibe I'd wanna be stuck with on a desert island, it's this one!

Why? I feel

• Documentation is for information! Writing is for vibes!

  • → AI can provide the facts, the substance — we writers carry the style!

I read admittedly little Substack and engage even less, and what does stir my creative impulses is vibes!

Short practices! Quick hits! Tiny habits!

[I appreciate but don't like being in rabbit holes! How am I to extricate myself? Or to integrate the endless tangents?]

Currencies of Life:

• Emotions (Vibes) > Energy > Time > Money

The vibes are everything!

Lots of people share long-form stories on Substack. Or reflections on a life event. Or life lessons. Or vulnerable times in their lives.

And that's all well and good!

They're often inspiring! Usually insightful! Always well-written!

But what's in it for me? What's the golden nugget of vibe? Am I, as the reader, supposed to be actively reading — and take each info piece, often lucid yes, but in matter-of-factness rather than visceral-ity — and synthesize it into my own life? Drop it, as if a modern art piece, into a memory palace, constructed ad-hoc? Insufficient! I like interaction! Not merely breath-taking, but breath-exchanging!

What's in an experience? Visceralness! Aliveness!

See, I like writing that makes me feel alive reading it! No processing needed!

It's the rawness! The radiant, purple arrow, like a string of LEDs in the night, shining — enrapturedly — into the soul!

Okay, perhaps I expect too much from information nowadays. Compared with the dopamine hit of say memes or webcomics.

Writing is never about aliveness or bang. It's not a motion picture! It's more zen than in-your-face experience… it’s an abuse of a guilty pleasure (reading) to seek escapism at each turn! An insidious danger to harbor such expectation! And yet…

What writing do I publish?

Often, it's when the vibes are so strong I just want to publish it! Impulsivity!

Like a bird, like a song, just urgently needing to get out!

Often, well-written is correlated (to the extent my mind sometimes equates it with) boring.

So: What if I don't want to be well-written? What if I want to be raw?

Where, where should the impulsive publications go?

I most naturally: dash writings off, to feel on the flutters of freedom, like dancing in the wind

2024/03/07

Dear Self,

Long awaited! This medium of Letters to Myself feel most natural, but I've written so few!

A few times on FutureMe (website where ppl can schedule-send an email years in the future). A few exchanges with my future self. Even some romantic letters after college (epistolary is the word!) — and none of them published yet (on this Substack at least... 😉 )!

Fear of publishing. Uncertainty about what it is to express myself. A travesty, a crime against creativity!

YET! this Substack's very nature is of Experimental Writing! So here it is~~~

So what inspired this?

I'm part of this writing community called Foster, and today on a group call, I met who shared her recent post!

Letter from a learn-it-all

🎊 28 Lessons from 28 Years

If you’d like to tune in to listen to me sharing my lessons verbally: This past year, I’ve been learning about acceptance and love as the doorway to finding peace and contentment. It's still something I am not the master of, but feel like I am getting closer to finding what life is about by being courageous and making connections. Acceptance is the avenu…

Read more

2 years ago · 8 likes · 7 comments · Jen Vermet

Her process? She keeps a journal — over a month, she tracked insights and breakthroughs. Takes these threads, two-line pointers of epiphanies — and 28 lines later, combines them into a brilliant essay!

Before that? For five years, she'd been writing letters! Sometimes multiple times a day!

So I reflected — yes, write letters to myself!

Freeform, I can express how I (and how I wish to) talk myself! Without the constraints of having formality or explaining context — a purest form of writing for myself, that of writing to myself!!

I see this developing as a nightly practice!

Yes, a recap of what went on the day. And also something deeper! Questioning, from curiosity, from wonder, from gratitude, each thing I encountered. For in each present moment where I have small delights, it's for those good vibes to be more pervasive in life.

"This too shall pass." But the spotlight of cognition, borrowing from positive psychology, shines most fulfillingly on life's qualities thus: viewing and holding as the pervasive good, the transient bad! Gratitude and awe and joy as fundamental (background, subconscious <> foreground, top of mind) — or as Tony Robbins puts it, emotional homes!

For what I seek at the end of each day is integration!

Satisfaction for the night, integration for the rest of my life!

Best,
CoderCorgi

CoderCorgi's current convo cadence (counter-complacency collection)

• Small talk [interests alignment]

  • What are some of the most exciting events or groups you're involved in?

    • Why?

  • What kind of things inspire you?

  • What outcomes do you want to achieve this year?

    • Why? (series of whys, up to seven)

• Friendship [values alignment]

  • What do you value in friendships? What are the best ways they add to your life?

  • If you could design a personal set of social norms for how your friends interact with you, what would they be? 

  • How would other people describe you? How does this compare to how you want to be perceived?

• Depth [vision alignment]

  • What makes you feel alive?

    • How are you steering towards aliveness this upcoming week?

  • What do you truly, deeply desire out of life?

    • What are your core desired feelings?

  • What are your highest values?

    • What would it take for you to express them 10% more this week?

  • You have a final performance review at the end of your life. What will you be asked? How will you answer?

• In his book The Values Factor, John Demartini connects motivation to how strongly something is linked to our highest values. This is what he calls The Values Factor.

• His method of determining your highest values involves asking yourself thirteen questions: how you use your space, time, energy, and money; where you have the most order, innate discipline, thought, visualizations, internal dialogue, and social dialogue; what inspires you, what are your most consistent long-term goals, and what you love learning about.

  • Through coming up with three examples for each of these thirteen topics, a pattern will emerge.

• From this, I determined my three highest values to be Creativity, Knowledge, and Energy.

In Chapter 6 "Activating Your Genius", Demartini discusses how to activate our genius for anything, especially things we hadn't felt inspired about before.

• To make this connection, first consider where we have intrinsic motivation — we have no lack of it for things we're interested in doing!

  • For example, my close friend naturally and meticulously plans his trips (travel), writes comprehensive food reviews on all the best restaurants and bars (food), and shoots for Platinum status for experiences such as Delta and Round1 arcade (status perks).

• We have intrinsic motivation towards what we highly value. Thus, to develop intrinsic motivation toward what we don't care so much about, we can establish links for how these activities help fulfill our highest values.

  • Take the example of a kid who loves computer games but hates math. He's highly motivated to master such games — so if he draws dozens of connections for how math would help him master a game, this generates progressively stronger insights that math helps fulfill his highest values, thus he develops inspiration to learn math.

"I believe less in motivation from without and more in inspiration from within." — The Values Factor, John Demartini

Takeaway: How do we foster intrinsic motivation, or inspiration? Link our goals to satisfying our highest values!

Questions:

• What are your highest values?

• What is a goal (or specific actions) that you would like increased intrinsic motivation for? What are twenty ways that those actions help fulfill your highest value?

I'm grateful that I, despite all my inconsistency, can ride the momentum of my internal motivation and still publish.

Sure, spreading out my writings would be nice – but there are words in my heart that DEMAND OUT right this moment, and I feel the most joy in satisfying their request!

HAVE A GREAT START TO YOUR WEEK! Make it a great week!

To your success,

Jeffrey | CoderCorgi Coaching & Consulting

---

Sign up for a free coaching call at https://calendly.com/codercorgi/intro

Your ideal audience is yourself 2-5 years ago. [or even a few months ago. or right now!]

Key takeaways: 

• Afraid of being judged? – who's judging?

• Afraid of posting low-quality content? – reading is opt-in!

• Afraid of lower average post quality? – doesn't matter!

In this essay, I'll cover how to overcome my paralyzing fear of publishing, via separating it into Three Simple Concerns in a conversation I had with my Mom.

Context

I have not published on Substack for many weeks (aka two).

But to reach my dreams of becoming a writer / coach / internationally renowned speaker, I must publish consistently.

I floated this struggle with my mom (who has never read my writings but frequents Chinese social media), and she said (in Chinese), "That's easy! I'll demolish your fears in two minutes!"

Concern 1: Fear of being judged

Put simply, I'm scared that people will judge me.

I noticed my writing process is mostly in two extremes, which feels like dysfunctional vibes:

1. write-then-publish: I love to write/podcast and publish straightaway with minimal edits.

   1. Just get it out of the way. I feel true to myself, to my rawness of creating. It feels liberating to just go ahead and publish at the draft stage!

   2. However, sans editing, it generates questionable value to readers.

2. write-then-edit-forever: I get perfectionistic and it takes many iterations before I publish. 

   1. "If ONE person takes the time to edit my work, then I must do right by them and spend EXTRA EXTRA TIME to make it perfect!" The process feels so effortful that I don't ever want to publish again.

   2. However, sans publishing, it generates no value at all.

Publishing is surely better than not publishing – I think my writing's sufficiently FUN and INSIGHTFUL to generate +EV.

But I'm afraid of being judged – oh, people would critique my writing and I'll have to go back and edit it… so in that sense, most of all, I'm afraid of being judged by myself.

Mom's response: There are tons of content out there, people won't come to judge yours. You're not popular enough that people hold you to a judge-worthy standard.

My analysis: true, this Substack's called "experimental" for goodness sake! It's meant to be a playground for my writing + have zero standards! It's a good time to be a nobody – permit yourself to write and publish trash; get through a hundred meh writings before you really hit the good ones.

Concern 2: Fear of bothering others

For this fear, I'm scared readers won't get value out of my writing.

Mom's response: If someone is voluntarily reading your writing, they must be getting value. 

My analysis: One cause behind my publishing fear is that I'm mainly writing for myself, so it feels weird and a bit ingenuous to look at it with external readers in mind! 😅

That said, in writing for myself, I write to raise insights – and I found those could be broadly applicable! eg anxieties and fear of rejection and fear of failure and neuroticism and whatnot – expressions of vulnerability and imperfection evoke connection & warm fuzzies! (didn't Brene Brown publish a whole book on this?) DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT!

Concern 3: Fear of diluting quality of my own work

Funny as it is to say, it feels weird to have work-I-spent-lots-of-time-on alongside work-published-without-edits.

I personally like the low-latency-to-publish process (it's a more fun extreme!), but readers would (hopefully) get more value out of the edited-to-death work. How to differentiate?

Mom's response: Work with higher engagement is higher value per its engagement.

My analysis: Ah, my fear's a moot point, as the "whole is greater than the sum of its parts"! How I generate value is by promoting engagement with interesting paradigms. 

• Generated value ~ engagement

So my takeaway from all this is:

• Just publish! Positive value is positive value!

PS My favorite Substack post ever remains